i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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