Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
