Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
