So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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