This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize