worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
