the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
