AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize