And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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