I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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