it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
