I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
