We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize