K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize