Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
