I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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