Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
