Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
