So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
