Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
