she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
vagina is talking i cant
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
