omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I just put wine in my tea
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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