he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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