do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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