Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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