Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was confusing and full of hummus
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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