Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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