The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize