Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
