Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
