Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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