their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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