Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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