Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
