i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
