I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
