The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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