Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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