I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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