if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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