You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
cat food counts as protein by the way
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
