What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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