DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
