Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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