i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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