I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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