I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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