Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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