I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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