all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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