I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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