The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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