I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
