Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Plan B is the new Plan A
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
