this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
