That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
