Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
