He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
