I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
