physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
