singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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