It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
