I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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