he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
