I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
