You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
