so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
